I was shopping for a birthday present for my niece this weekend when I suddenly became irate. Well...not THAT suddenly. I went out to buy a gift, which I usually enjoy, but I somehow stumbled across singles hour in the entire community of local shopping venues. Cranky. I don't like being looked at. Especially when I'm cranky. And shopping. Vicious cycle.
At any rate, I ventured into the children's literature section, thinking a creative girl like the sweet one I was shopping for might like something interactive and fun. The only interactive books were plastered with Barbie. I looked for a similar alternative, and came up dry, although I did manage to find a Bible that somebody had seen fit to reduce to a whopping 18 pages long. And this after I had removed a filthy magazine from the floor level shelf of coloring books. Seething.
I moved on to the toy aisle, only to find dolls with impossible curves and ridiculous clothing taunting me from their sports cars and mini-mansions. I do not envy the decisions that parents are faced with in consideration of the shallow pool of amusements made available to their children. I ultimately left the store with a collection of coloring/school supplies that seemed appropriately pink and sparkly, but upon arriving home, I discovered that bubbles I had thrown in on a whim were actually tubes of sparkly lip gloss. This was ridiculous. Covered in tiarras and glitter, there was no way that these tubes were marketed for anybody but an especially small someone. Scandalized.
This sent me into a mull amongst mullings. I don't want to give my niece presents that encourage her to think that lip gloss makes her beautiful or special. She is both of those things already. Psalm 139 indicates that (beyond the shadow of a doubt) we all are. But what about me (other than the words that I speak) communicates that to the people in my life? Do I live like I believe that? Honestly, I considered this even as I dabbed on my own lip gloss and mascera this morning. Do these things define me? Am I a slave to them? I eventually concluded that it was just good grooming to try and present oneself as clean and put together. BUT, I do think that there is a line between self-expression and creating an identity for oneself. I like purple. Today I wore an eggplantish top. Expression. When my appearance, or the identity I'm trying to project starts to define my schedule or behavior, I'd say that the line has been crossed. But that's beside the point.
What I'm wondering is this: How can I reflect real (gentle& quiet spirit) beauty in my own behavior and appearance? What is God's idea of beauty?
*I'd really like to have this conversation, so if you have any experiences or thoughts you want to throw out here or on the facebook link have at it, friends.
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